I’ve been struggling lately with how inadequate I feel I am when it comes to sharing about Jesus. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by a mental picture of the kind of person who regularly does that– you picture men and women who wake up at the crack of dawn to pray for hours; they always have just the right Bible verses on hand for a conversation; they spend their hours tirelessly serving the community they’re called to; they never get exhausted, fight with their spouses, are selfish, have doubts…
I’m definitely not that person. While I know my heart is on a path of sanctification, I still never feel “good enough,” so I have a hard time believing God could use someone like me.
I read an encouraging blog post from Exponential in reference to the beginning of the book of Jeremiah:
Now the word of the LORD came to me, saying,
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
and before you were born I consecrated you;
I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
Then I said, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the LORD said to me,
“Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’;
for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,
and whatever I command you, you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of them,
for I am with you to deliver you,
declares the LORD.”
—Jer. 1:4-8
The Exponential post commented,
“Here’s what I love about God’s response. He acknowledges that Jeremiah is inadequate. He knows all about it, after all he created Jeremiah (v.5). Verses 7-10 isn’t a pep talk from God about how great Jeremiah is. It’s a pep talk from God about how great God is. The message: yeah, you are inadequate, but I’m not, so stop making excuses and trust me. So yes, you are inadequate for the mission. But the One who called you is not. Trust Him.“
Besides Jeremiah, there are a number of unworthy, inadequate individuals throughout the Bible that God uses in amazing ways. There is only one perfect person in the Bible— Jesus. The rest are a ragtag set of characters full of flaws, often major ones:
- Abraham on not one, but two different occasions fakes being his wife’s brother and lets kings try to to make his wife one of their concubines (Gen. 12:10-20 & 20:1-13). Yet, God worked through him to found what would become God’s chosen people, the nation of Israel and now the church.
- Sarah laughed at God’s promise to give her a son in her old age (Gen. 18:9-15). Yet, God used Sarah to help begin the family that would become the nation of Israel, God’s chosen people.
- Moses likely had a speech impediment and anger issues, and in fact killed a man, hid his body, and ran away for years (Ex. 2:11-15). Yet, God called him to lead the nation He established through Abraham and worked through him free His people from slavery in Egypt.
- Rahab was a prostitute living in Jericho when Joshua sent spies to study the city. Despite her heritage and nationality, she was faithful in hiding and protecting the men of Israel from the wicked leaders of Jericho (Josh 2).
- David was a “peeping Tom” and had a man killed to cover up having committed adultery with his wife (2 Sam 11-12:14). Yet, he wrote many of the Psalms, which portray a raw and honest faith, full of joy one day and full of angst the next, and he is described as being “a man after God’s own heart” (1 Sam 13:13-14).
- Peter is rebuked by Jesus as being the devil and, on the eve of Jesus’ trial, denies knowing him three times (Matt 16:21-23; 26:69-75). Yet, he was amongst the disciples closest to Jesus and became a bold preacher of the Gospel (Acts 2:14-41).
- Paul was an anti-Christian terrorist before his conversion (Acts 7:53-8:3), and he describes himself as “the chief of sinners” (1 Tim 1:12-16). Yet, he is the author of most of what we now read as the New Testament.
- Thomas saw Jesus after he resurrected and wouldn’t beleive it was really him until he touched his crucifixion wounds (John 20:24-29). Yet, he went on to be one of the apostles in the early Church.
And then, there are a number of characters in more recent church history that had their own problems, yet are still known for their great impact on the world. Charles Spurgeon, a famed author and preacher in the 1800s who people would travel across the world to see, suffered from gout and depression his whole life. William Cowper, a very famous hymn writer and poet, suffered from depression to the point of being institutionalized on a few occasions. And recently John Piper, possibly one of the most influential preachers of the last 20 years who I esteem greatly, went on an 8-month Sabbatical which he openly explained he needed to take in order to re-prioritize his marriage, family life, and ministry.
In a way, it’s comforting to see both Biblical and more modern-day people who are famous for their works for Christ also had their own struggles and weaknesses. Throughout Christian history we see time and time again where God uses someone to do great things in spite of their flaws. All of this makes me think that maybe the “Super Christian” stereotype I described earlier may not actually exist, nor does it need to. God doesn’t need our perfection— He is already perfect Himself. But by His grace He works through fallen, broken people to show His love and teach the story of redemption.
So maybe we should stop worrying about being perfectionists and focus our efforts on loving God, knowing that grace will catch us when we inevitably fall short time and time again. That doesn’t mean you use it as an excuse to sin (Rom. 6:1-2), just that you don’t have to beat yourself up over something God has already paid for through Jesus.
Maybe we should stop focusing on our failures and inadequacies and focus on God’s perfection, since it’s His strength, not ours, that gets us through anyway. You don’t have to be perfect for God to use you… You just have to trust that God is perfect and that He has a sovereign plan for your life.
May I also add to that list a few women from scripture?
Sarah — who laughed at God’s idea that she’d have a child because she was too old (inadequate)
Esther–who saved her people even though she thought she was only a woman and could do nothing (inadequate)
Mary, the mother of Jesus–who was certain that she could not do as Gabriel said and bear God’s son. So certain of her inability to do this that she even questions God’s divine messenger.
I’m sure there’s more, but those are just three that came to my head.
I have known many pastors, church leaders, mission developers, Christian ed directors, and even a couple of priests and a nun in my life. Every last one of them felt inadequate–including me. It is a good thing because it means, just as you say in your post, we rely upon God’s grace. Feeling inadequate can be a gift that reminds us that we are not god, but that God is God. We are his instruments in the world.
So glad you used the Jeremiah text! We’re studying this at my church at the moment!. One of my favorite Jere texts is 29:11 For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare (Shalom) and not for evil, to give you a future of hope.
Peace be with you as you continue your journey.
Thank you for mentioning those women— I don’t know why I didn’t think of them when I was writing earlier! I may have to re-edit and add them later.
I like when you wrote, “Feeling inadequate can be a gift that reminds us that we are not god, but that God is God”— that’s a good way of putting it!
Thanks
Thank you for the post. We sometimes get a little lost because we really want to do well. We are called to be disciples. That requires discipline, both from God and ourselves. We do improve as human beings if we walk with God and obey His commands and carry out His instructions. But our goal is not to be perfect (the way we understand perfection) but complete and mature, in the Biblical sense. And our job is to complete our mission, whatever that may be. The imperfect people mentioned above did just that. Paul continued to bemoan his weakness throughout his life, but the Lord said His strength is made perfect in weakness.
This brings us to the apparent conundrum between wanting to excel and accomplish great things for God while wondering why He doesn’t get with our program, and essentially waiting on God while seemingly accomplishing nothing or very little. It is about progress and excellence as He sees it, not as we see it.
As a case in point I would like to mention another hero of the faith. Lazarus was a poor man laid at the gate of a rich man who could not fend for himself. He was covered with sores which dogs would lick. He longed for the mere crumbs from the rich man’s table. Yet, this apparent nobody who could not take care of himself was on a mission. He was sent by God and remained obedient to his calling. God wanted the rich man to be saved. He worked through Lazarus in an effort to tenderize the rich man’s heart. Lazarus completed his mission even though the rich man never gave in to the call of God. The first became last and the last became first. Lazarus went to heaven knowing he did his job, though it was very difficult and he never received the sense of accomplishment we often crave. Though we may feel ineffective, we are often right where the Lord wants us to be.
Christ said to be complete. No cheap grace here, according to the UMC. Martin Luther said that we all sin, so his sin was food and drink. Only Christ was perfect. Keep your eyes on Christ, not upon people.